This Just In: The D to Shred in Breck

Oh the drama! What better night to watch the finale with a group of bachelor fanatics? I can't tell you how many times we hit rewind. All for the most dramatic rose ceremony EVER.

And let me just say...although I wasn't completely accurate in my final plot twist, you must have been just a little impressed when ol' Jeremy took the walk of shame back to DD. And boy did I have compassion on the man. I know, I'm a sucker. But I really did feel his pain. And his abs.

Highlights of the episode:

- Jesse telling DD she had a big butt on the hometown date. Such a sweetheart.
- Jesse telling DD's dad that he lived with a girl for awhile. Always the best way to a Dad's heart.
- Jason asking Mr. Pappas to marry his daughter. Just crushing.
- DD's g-ma and g-pa telling Jason he was their choice! And how precious were they???
- Jason saying his con was not being "raaaaaad" like Jesse. Cute.
- Three words: Blow it up.

I had quite a few "what the..." moments...we got a kick out of watching Jesse completely botch his hometown date. I mean, yeah, of course ABC edits but...insert awkwardness! The looks her dad had when they all met Jesse - priceless! And what about the "keep your hair short" comment. Poor guy. I mean, don't forget that he is NOTHING like DD had in mind. She NEVER dates guys with long hair and pink shoelaces. Could you remind us anymore?!?!

And oh, sweet Jason. He was so ready to find Ty's mommy. What a guy. But, in a way it's good for him I suppose because during the night the consensus was that Jason really deserved better than DeAnna because her like-ability factor just went down down down to the dumps by the end of this season.

I was half afraid they were going to bring out Trista & Ryan at the ATR show. Or, heaven forbid, Brad Womack. Since DD has so much compassion for him now and they are BFF.

Oh, do you not know about Brad? He was actually the Bachelor a couple seasons ago and LEFT DD at the proposal pedestal! Shocking. Her heart was broken. She was confused. Her questions were not answered. She was in love. They don't bring him up much so just in case you missed all that...

And apparently they're all still BFF with Jason too. Friends forever. Yeah ok. But ABC really outdid themselves by showcasing our favorite British Bachelor and his playboy-esque bride-to-be Shayne. Barf. Did anyone else notice the "bad boy look" he kept sporting and Shayne's too-blonde mane? $10,000 that she has a British accent in her next interview.

Anyway, those are my thoughts this morning. We kept our hopes up to the very end though...disappointing to see J step out of the limo, but...remember the few seasons where the winner did show up first? And had to WATCH the Bach turn the other girl down? Just cruel. Still wondering if ABC will bring back that move. And how come they can't make video messages for the Bach/Bachelorette anymore? AND did the night vision cameras break or what?

I would campaign for Single Dad as the next Bachelor but you know they would pick the trashiest girls for him and I don't think that'd be setting a very good example for Ty. So perhaps we'll try Graham. Yeah, he'd work.